It’s the little things…

I remember the chocolates…

This is an old poem, which was published in X magazine back in 2006 and although it first appears that the poem laments the imperfect nature of relationships (which perhaps at the time, was my intention) that’s not how I see it now.

I chose to share this poem here today as on Valentine’s Day, expectations can run high. Some people may be lucky enough to receive grand gestures – ranging from a proposal in house filled with roses to the declaration on Facebook that they are ‘in a relationship.’ However, many of us in relationships will be giving and receiving much smaller tokens, if at all. Is today important? Only if you want it to be… Like most things, it is what you make of it and let’s be honest, relationships can never be summed up with one simple gesture. A box of chocolates, however spectacular, is not representative of the bond between two people.

Relationships are complicated. I don’t mean that in a Facebook status way (which would be a different post entirely) but in that there are so many strands and seasons over the course of each relationship that when it comes down to it, it’s really the simple things that count.

It’s the simple things

We were both at home
I was working
And you were on holiday
You thought we’d hang out
I reminded you I was working

You nodded and left the room
Spent most of the day upstairs
So as not to disturb me

But your silence seeped through the ceiling
Landed heavy on my shoulders

I stopped to make a cup of tea
Didn’t ask if you wanted one

Later, you came down
Silently, and with your hands over your eyes
Like a toddler who thinks he can’t be seen if he can’t see
You put the kettle on

You tiptoed across the kitchen and then,
Fingers wrapped around the door handle, you whispered
“Just pretend I’m not here”

The corner of your lip turned up
In a half smile

The silence slid from my shoulders.

Image Credit: Heart Shaped Chocolate by Serge Bertasius Photography at freedigitalphotos.net

Do more – Let’s spread a little love…

Hello again!

Remember last month I said my motto for 2013 would be Give more. Do more. Be more? Well, I started with Give more, telling you what I’m doing this year under this heading and asking for your help to raise awareness of (and funds for, if the cause compelled you) Dost, a small charitable organisation in London (UK).

For the rest of this month, let’s Do more, together.

I have been true to my word, and so far this year I’ve been paying it forward as often I can. I won’t list everything I’ve done here, because that’s not why I’m doing it, but examples range from telling the lady who works in our local corner shop how much my son looks forward to seeing her and misses her when she’s not there, to paying for someone else’s morning coffee and croissant (anonymously, before they buy it. Interestingly, some people are very suspicious of this!)

Tomorrow is Valentines Day. The second most celebrated holiday around the world (only after New Year’s Day), it first became associated with romantic love in the middle ages and evolved into a day for lovers to express their love for each other around the 15th century. Mass produced greeting cards didn’t make an appearance until four centuries later and here in the UK, we now spend a ridiculous amount of money each year telling our loved ones how much they mean to us.  It doesn’t need to cost this much, and it doesn’t need to be Valentine’s day, to tell people that we love them, but there’s nothing stopping us from going all out on today if we feel like it. This year, however, I have a suggestion…

As well as using this opportunity to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us, why don’t we use the rest of month to spread a little love a lot further? I’m going to anyway, and I’d like to invite you to join me.

For the rest of the month, I will make a point of doing something every day for someone else. Whether that’s something for someone I don’t know, such as  offering my seat on the tube to someone else (who isn’t obviously in need – otherwise I’d give it anyway), or something for someone closer to home, like sending an unexpected gift to a family member I don’t see often. Earlier this month, I also signed up to More Love Letters.  Based in the U.S, they send love letters to wherever they are needed, all over the world. If you know someone who could do with a parcel of love to uplift them, or simply love letter writing yourself and want to get involved, head over to their website to find out more.

I want to spread some love too!

Great! To join in, simply do one thing for someone else before the end of this month. It doesn’t have to be big but it should be something you don’t usually do anyway. Telling your kids you love them doesn’t count if you tell them every day but if you rarely talk emotions with your teenager, for example, telling them you love them and specifically, why, does. Even if their response is ‘like, yeah. Whatever.’ Post a comment below with the details, or tweet with the hashtag #spreadfeblove and let’s see how much love we can put out there this month!

Do more

100 WCGU week #47 – Hope, Joy and Love

Ok. This week’s challenge is an image prompt:

If this is your first time here, and you’re wondering what 100 WCGU is all about, click on the image above, or the 100 WCGU badge at the end of this post, for more information and to read other interpretations of this week’s prompt.

Hope, Joy and Love
Laura pulled up at this strange looking petrol station and got out of the car. She hadn’t seen anyone approach so the voice, although quiet, made her jump.
‘I’m sorry but we don’t sell petrol here…’
‘Oh?’ Savannah frowned
‘No. We don’t sell anything. If you need something, you’ll get it for free. We have Hope, Joy and Love on tap. What do you need?’
‘But… I don’t…’
‘Honey, how do you think you got here?’ She took her hand and led her inside. Made her a cup of tea.
‘Hope.’ Said Laura ‘I need hope.’ And burst into tears.
 

Blogsplash – My Most Beautiful Thing

Today I’m taking part in the My Most Beautiful Thing Blogsplash to celebrate beautiful things – inspired by Fiona Robyn’s new novel, The Most Beautiful Thing. Bloggers from all over the world are taking part and writing or posting pictures of their most beautiful things today.* I have read the book, and it really is beautiful. Fiona writes about the most raw of human emotions with such compassion and understanding. But don’t take my word for it. Read what other people have to say.

My Most Beautiful Thing

This picture is of one of three beautiful memory books my Mums’ closest friend made for me, my brother and my sister after our Mum passed away. It contains around 30 letters, poems and loving messages to our Mum, and some to us. To know that these people loved our Mum so much, enough to write such heartfelt messages in her memory and that her friend loved her enough to make these beautiful books to gift to us… Well, that’s a beautiful thing.

When I signed up to take part, I was going to say that this memory book is my Most Beautiful Thing. But then I thought: what about my son, his crazy laughter, the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps..?  What about the Christmas card my sister sent me years ago, that I kept for the poem she’d written inside..? And the gift that Mr B made for me one year – that’s right, he made it. It’s still my favourite just for this very fact. What about the lovely message a friend left when I was going through a tough time, that I saved for months cause it made me smile…? I could go on and on. The more I thought about it, the more beautiful things came to mind. I enjoyed counting my blessings for all the beautiful things that I have but became really hard to pick just one thing to write about. Then I realised that there’s a theme that holds all these things together… Well, not exactly a theme, but definitely something Most Beautiful. It’s Love.

So, although at first glance it might seem like I cheated by writing about so many beautiful things, in the end there is only ever one. My Mum used to say that we’re here for each other – to love, and be loved. Life is basically all about Love. And for me, a blog post entitled ‘My Most Beautiful Thing’ couldn’t have been about anything else.

*If you’d like to read other blogs about beautiful things, head over to the list of blogsplashers to find out who else has taken part.