Rolling resolutions

So, another year is upon us. In a post I wrote just before Christmas, I said that 2014 had been a good year. On reflection, that wasn’t entirely truthful.

The end of 2013 wasn’t great and 2014 started quietly. It seems that was the right way to go for me. The year has had its ups and downs but I managed to find Joy in the little things and continue taking baby steps towards my big dreams.

Endings and Beginnings

Then, in June, my role at work was made redundant. This could have been a disaster and to say that I didn’t experience quite a rollercoaster of negative emotions around this time would be a lie. I didn’t blog about it because other things were happening at the time and I needed to process all of it. I didn’t know how I felt about any of it and didn’t feel ready to share… So I simply took some time out.

Taking time out was (and so often is) the best thing I could have done. Within a month, I had made my decision. Rather than look for another similar job, I would see this ending as a new beginning, an opportunity even, to start being even more authentically me; to take the plunge and start out on my own. Full time. I decided to be more Present.

That was scary. It still is! But so far, so good. I felt the fear and did it anyway and I have learned a lot. Actually, the learning never stops… I have learned many things in the past few months – about myself, about how I work and who I am.

Heartwork

I love my work now. I mean, I liked what I was doing before but now? Well, I don’t love the admin but everything else really does make my heart sing. I’m a recovering perfectionist so I’ve had to learn to let go of the need to make everything perfect before putting it out there but as I’m learning to embrace my imperfections I am also helping others do the same. My biggest problem now is that I want to do all of the things… All at once! So, in 2015 I have a few big projects coming up, the first being a series of coached workshops for parents of young children; Proudly Imperfect Parents, which starts with a workshop for working mums.

In order to give this, and other upcoming projects, my full attention, I once again need to review my commitments and rethink the amount of time I spend on social media (more on that in a future post) but I think it’s safe to say that no matter what I decide to do next, authenticity will be key.

Keeping it Real

Being authentic isn’t easy. My first meeting with a potential major client left a weird feeling in my belly. In my heart I knew that feeling was a “no” but who says no to their first major piece of work as a freelancer? It’s crazy right? Well, as it turned out, it would have been even more crazy for me to take on this work. It just wasn’t right for me. And I’m glad that lesson came early. It’s so important for me to be honest in my work and when I really believe in what I’m doing that passion shines through.

And that authenticity isn’t just important in my work. Take the redundancy for example, I hadn’t mentioned it before now because I didn’t feel ready but even as I sat down to write this post I had planned to leave it out. To offer a sanitised version of the year that would have looked like I just found the courage to live my dream and got on with it. I mean, in the end I did. But. It took lots of little pushes (some positive, some less so) and this big kick up the backside to get me really moving and it’s not always easy. Fulfilling? Yes? Rewarding Yes? Real? Yes. But easy? No. Sometimes it takes for a pretty big door to slam shut before you realise just how many windows are still open and how much motivation you actually have to climb through one. By ‘you’ in this instance I mean me, of course. Unless the same applies to you, in which case let’s talk!

Rolling resolutions

I don’t really make resolutions any more. Not that I don’t want to grow but I see growth as a constant, not a once a year, thing. So I’ll continue with last year’s promise to Be Kind to myself and add/step up to Be Real, as well as adding more rolling resolutions as I go.

Finally, I saw something on Facebook before Christmas, asking what you want to see more of for 2015. In my response, I said ‘Joy.’ I think I’ll stick with that. Here’s to more Joy, for all of us. *raises glass*

HappyNewYear2015

How about you..? What are your reflections on the past year and what do you want more of in 2015?

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17 responses to “Rolling resolutions

  1. I was made redundant from my last job. It was the first time that had happened to me and not pleasant, but in retrospect it was wonderful. I wish you a happy, joyful and fruitful New Year, Rachael.

    • Yes, it may well have been the best thing for me too – I hear this a lot from people who have lost their jobs and gone on to fulfill long-held dreams and ambitions… Time will tell! Thanks Miriam. Hope your year has started well too.

  2. maddy@writingbubble

    I’ll definitely raise a glass to a year of joy! Authenticity is a funny thing in blogging and social media. I like to think I’m authentic and yet I do hold a fair bit back from my ‘public persona’ because, quite simply, I don’t want to share it with all and sundry. But then I do end up presenting a sanitised version of my life which could mean I’m missing out as it can be through sharing the tough stuff that deeper connections can be formed with others. Oh your posts always make me think!

    I’m still trying to work out what my plans for 2015 are. Well, I know (generally) what the parenting and work ones are, it’s the writing ones I can’t quite decide on! Like you, I want to do ‘all the things’! Happy New year! xxx

    • Thanks Maddy! Happy to make you think… I have to admit, there is plenty that I still leave out too, especially over at Mothering Mushroom, where I talk about my son. There are things I don’t say because of how they might affect others; extended family, friends etc. and of course my son himself (thinking of his future self). However, the redundancy was more about me worrying what others would think and I felt that sharing would give more context to how I just suddenly ‘found’ the confidence to do something I’ve been talking about for years… It is possible to be authentic and still be selective about what we share… I do think that it’s necessary unless we are blogging anonymously, as our lives are never just about us… Although it may read that way at times! 😉

      Good luck with your 2015 goals – it’s so hard to narrow down ‘all the things’ isn’t it?

  3. Oh yes, here’s to joy most definitely. And yes, authenticity in blogging and social media is a tricky one-I’m honest on my blog but there’s a fair amount I keep back too. But I think that’s normal and dare I say it, healthy? I certainly don’t have a problem sharing things that aren’t so great, but sometimes you need to keep things private, at least I know I do. But the support I’ve found along the way when I’ve needed it has been brilliant. I suppose it’s that magical balance again.
    Big change is hard, and I’m still not sure where I’m going with this year-I suppose I’ll work it out as I go along:)

    • Hi Iona,

      Thanks for commenting! Yes authenticity is a tricky one, but I do think it’s possible to be authentic without revealing all. As I was saying to Maddy, It is possible to be authentic and still be selective about what we share, which I agree is healthy unless we are blogging anonymously, as our lives are never just about us… It’s true big change can be uncomfortable but I find it does tend to work out. We are usually more resilient/adaptable than we might think (I find)! Wishing you plenty of Joy (and offering support for when it’s lacking, should you need it). x

      • Yes, very true. It is possible to retain a truth about oneself whilst blogging but not reveal every truth. As for change, I think we can all dig deeper than we think we can but it can be tough can’t it nonetheless.
        And thank you x

  4. Here’s to Joy!
    Authenticity is always tricky, especially where blogging is concerned. Trying to find the balance between keeping certain things private while revealing things about yourself is hard. I hope your year is a great one Rachael. Good luck. x

  5. Love this post. Heartwork is such a great term. Do what makes your heart sing the loudest.
    Good luck with your projects, they sound fab and thank you for linking up with #whatimwriting x

  6. Eeek exciting new year ahead of you! Good luck!

  7. Great post, Rachael, love what you said and how you wrote it.
    I wish you the best of luck with your projects and here is to joy!
    Happy New Year. xx

  8. Amen to more joy, and being kinder to ourselves! As you know from reading my posts I’m all for imperfect parenting! Very best of luck for branching out on your own, hope the workshops are a great success 😀

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