Last week, in 100 word humour, I shared some old 100 word stories that I’d forgotten about. I tend to write more serious pieces so it was nice to share some light relief and remind myself that I can be a bit funny sometimes…!
An angry salad
Melanie silently stabbed a tomato with her fork.
Jon sighed. “What’s wrong?”
She looked up at him and considered her words carefully.
“This tomato… is angry.”
“The tomato…? Oh, ok… and how about the cucumber, Mel? How do you think the cucumber is feeling?”
“There isn’t any cucumber,” Melanie frowned.
“There is. You just can’t see it under that mountain of rocket and tomato. You don’t even know what the cucumber brings to the salad, do you?” Melanie looked down.
“This salad…” she whispered “…has become too angry.”
“Yes. Yes it has. Well, perhaps you should have ordered the steak.”
Tattoos and Tainted Toasters
She lay, studying the tattoos that, uncensored by clothes, complimented the contours of his body as he prepared breakfast. She wondered at the insecurities that had led him to adorn his body this way. Why not revel in unmarked nakedness, as she did?
Sunday morning sounds gently roused her; the low rumbling of water boiling, the sizzle of fresh bacon under the grill and the Tattooed man, gently humming to himself. Then the toaster popped, mocking her reverie. It reminded her of that night, made her skin crawl… Her tattoos were on the inside and she wore them without pride.
Brazen and Bittersweet
I want a word. Gran thinks this is a thank-you email but it’s not. Optimus Prime was a cool Xmas present, but NOT what I asked for. Gran said I could ask for anything, so I did. But you ignored my letter and just got me toys. Good ones, but toys all the same. I don’t WANT toys this year, Santa. I just wanted my parents back. So, if I send everything back, can you send Mum and Dad back? Please? Turn back time, or whatever, but that’s all I want. Everything else is just… stuff.
Thomas G, 7¾
Miriam also set me the challenge of writing 100 words with her title, ‘The Mystery of the Missing Door.’ Coming soon! More challenges welcome and I’ll write each piece in the order requested and email or tweet you when your story is published.