What’s in your bubble?

Hello again.

Today, I’m thinking about bubbles. I think about bubbles quite a lot. You may have noticed… No? Take a look at my header image… Now, pop over to my website… See it now? It’s something of an obsession.

Like most kids, I loved making and watching bubbles as a child. I never grew out of this and it’s still my favourite activity to do with my three-year-old son. I even had bubbles (instead of confetti. Now there’s something I like less) at my wedding.

I love the way the word rolls around in my mouth and the way it sounds… To me, it’s an onomatopia. Listen: “Bubble.” See? Hear how light and spherical that sounds? So deep and watery yet light and hopeful? No? Just me? Ok then, I’ll stop.

Image Source: The Enchanted Tree

This isn’t just a simple love letter to bubbles. I wanted to share my personal bubble with you.

What??

Ok, I know that sounds weird, so let me show you. Come this way… That’s right… and step inside my bubble for a minute… It’s ok, it won’t pop.

My Bubble

Quiet isn’t it? It’s ok, I don’t live in here all the time. It’s just where I come when I need to rest, or get things done. Let me show you around. It won’t take long, it’s not too big…

See how the bubble has a green tinge to it? That’s my calm… It reconnects me with nature and helps me to focus. It gets greener when I’m writing and has a sort of citrus smell about it. Although it makes me feel more awake, at the same time it sort of helps time to slow down…

Then, when I need a confidence boost it changes again… A sort of deep red colour that seeps in at the bottom and works its way up one side… Yes, behind me like that, sort of pushing me gently forwards. It smells musky doesn’t it? Makes me feel powerful. Now, listen. Can you hear that voice? A gentle, woman’s voice saying ‘It’s ok. You can do this. I love you.’? Yeah. Reassuring, isn’t it? She’s always there when I need her.

Then, when I need to completely relax – to sleep, for example, it goes quiet again and these giant beanbags appear… See those red, pink and purple cushions over there? Almost womb-like, that corner, isn’t it? Smells a bit like vanilla ice cream… Just lie down there for a second… What’s that like? Comfortable, right? are you feeling sleepy yet…?

Hey, wake up! Ok, time to get out now…

What was that like for you? Did you feel focused, alert and then relaxed? Or something else? Those images, sounds and smells work for me. When I’m feeling anxious or tense, overwhelmed (happens often to me, you..?) or simply need a confidence boost, I step into this bubble for a little while to get back to myself. It wasn’t always this way. I used to shut myself into a cardboard box that was cramped and dark and would tell me I’m stupid and worthless. I still climb into it on occasion and have to remind myself to get out and try the bubble instead.

What about you? Do you have a bubble you can go to when need it? Or something else? Where do you go? What does it look like? How does it feel? What does it sound like? And is it helpful? If not, what could you change to make it better? Do share in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

Present

This blog post has been a long time coming. In fact, it feels as though my very first post, Now is the time, is as accurate a description of my journey from then to now as it was of my journey prior to starting this blog. I move forward a bit, then freeze. I move forward a bit more, then freeze… And so it goes on.

It has often felt like I’m getting nowhere but actually, each time I move forward that little bit more. The more I feel the fear and manage to move past it, the more risks I’ll take the next time.

Usually I have a long list of things I want to achieve at the start of the year. This year, all I wanted was to try and remember to be kinder to myself. To be truer to myself, to worry less about what other people might think and to take more breaks. In short: To be more present; to be authentically me.

Being more present

Being more present has some interesting side effects. The more I managed to stay present, the more I noticed when not being present had actually served me pretty well, on some level. When I started this blog I had a dream – to move towards living a more authentic life, one where I could be more of me – all of me, even – all of the time. I had a vision of what that might look like and started taking baby steps towards it but never made that big leap… Something was holding me back. In fact, the closer I got to realising my vision, the more I stalled. Not being present allowed me to do this.

A wake-up call

Actually, I had more than a couple of wake-up calls this year. Some seemingly insignificant coincidences came together to propel me forward to take bigger steps toward my dreams. As I did so, more things began to happen. The pieces started to slot together. It was time.

Writing. People. Poetry

Back in 2010, I wrote a blog post in response to Ann Hawkins, who had invited readers to share their straplines. I came up with ‘It’s about People, it’s about Poetry,’ which later evolved to ‘Writing, People, Poetry and everything in between.’ At the risk of sounding like an M&S advert, this is not just a strapline.

Writing, connecting with people and creating poetry are my passions. They are the ‘what’ that drives me, that makes me who I am… I will stay up half the night to write and still not feel tired. When I’m doing this work, it doesn’t feel like work. Time feels different. It slips away unnoticed and hours feel like minutes, or it stands still and ten minutes can feel like hours. In a good way.

So why not do more of it? Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success..? Probably a combination of all three, and more… So, when fate stepped in and forced a life change on me, I decided it was time. My strapline has now evolved again, to ‘I write, I coach, I rhyme.’ Why? Because Writing. People. Poetry has become my brand.

I’ve put myself out there. Properly this time. From ‘doing the odd bit of freelance work’ for years, I have finally taken a giant leap of faith. I’m here. Present.

Is there anything you have been thinking about doing for a long-time and not yet got round to? If so, what’s stopping you? Or have you taken a giant leap recently that you’d like to share? Please do share in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!