Hello again. Been a while…
So, inevitably, this is a bit of a ‘Mummy’ post, seeing as that’s pretty much been my sole identity for the past three months. Now that baby is starting to settle into a routine (it’s a baby led routine, tweaked a little to suit my purposes, if you’re interested) and sleeps longer at night, I no longer need to nap every time baby does and am starting to get my life back a bit. Of course it will never be the same again (and I wouldn’t want it to be) but I am starting to remember what its like to be Rachael, as well as Mummy.
Whether you are a regular reader or are new to this blog, you will probably have gathered that being a writer is a big part of my identity. So a few days ago, while baby napped, I decided to pick up my journal and start writing again. Before I did so, I read my last few entries. I was surprised to see just how much I’ve changed. My last few entries were full of petty complaints and selfish concerns. I could blame pregnancy hormones for this, but, looking back, many earlier entries were also rants about things or people that had upset me. Don’t get me wrong, I also wrote about real issues that I had needed to get out of my head clear my mind, about my concerns for others, or simply thankful thoughts for a particularly good day. However, the childish rants really bothered me. That’s not who I am any more and I wouldn’t want anyone to look back and remember me that way. Baby has taught me more patience and understanding, making me a happier and more at peace on a personal level, and an even more intuitive coach on a professional one.
So, dear readers, I have a question for you… Do I keep my old journal as a reminder of how far I have come, or do I destroy it, as a symbolic way of truly letting go of the past and starting over? Have any of you had the same dilemma? If so, what did you do? Please add your comments in the box below.
Thanks for reading – its good to be back!