Mum’s the word…

So, it’s been less than a month since my last post but it feels like forever! I needed the break, yes, but I did miss writing and engaging with you. It’s good to be back.

So, why the sabbatical, so soon after my last? Well, as I mentioned, I needed the break, and the headspace to contemplate another shift in focus. As you know, I got married back in June, hence the break then. Since June, I’ve started a new job (same company, new role. I get to do more writing. It’s all good) and an intensive training course to which I want to give 100%. So far, a couple of good reasons for a shift in focus, no? Well, in addition to these new ventures, I also found out, around the time I got the new job, that I was pregnant! That required a major shift in my way of thinking.

Now, the pregnancy wasn’t a complete shock, after all, I had just got married…  But what I found most challenging of all was keeping it a secret. I know I’m not the first woman to fall pregnant and keep it to herself, and I certainly won’t be the last, and women have been managing to successfully (more or less) keep this particular secret to themselves for at least 12 weeks for centuries, but I underestimated how challenging this would be for me.

It’s not like I’ve never kept a secret before. We all have minor secrets, things we just don’t share with most people, and keeping those? No problem. When a friend shares a secret that’s ok too. I can discuss it with said friend, should I feel the need…  But this? It was hard. Especially in the face of quite a few people actually asking outright ‘so are you pregnant yet?’ and then having to lie because I didn’t want to announce it so early. It’s surprising how many of those who ask this question are women – I didn’t like lying to my friends, but I can only imagine how distressing it would be to be asked that question if I were unable to have children.

Pretending to be fine at work and when out with friends when I felt like crap and all I wanted to do was sleep for a week wasn’t easy either, but I got there in the end, and I am pleased to say that I am now almost 16 weeks pregnant (that’s four months – took me a while to get used to thinking in weeks!) and feeling much better. I’ve been told that the second trimester is the ‘honeymoon’ period of pregnancy, and as I am starting to enjoy my changing shape, instead of lamenting the body I had before, I can begin to see that. However, I don’t for a minute underestimate the fact that everything began to feel lighter and easier for me straight after my 12 week scan, when I was able to share my news.

Are there any other pregnant women or Mums out there who find the energy invested in keeping the big secret to be almost as exhausting as early pregnancy itself? Or is it just me? Please share your experiences below!


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13 responses to “Mum’s the word…

  1. Congratulations! I suppose this is true of everyone: some things you remember for ever, others vanish with time. I don’t remember worrying about telling people I was pregnant. I remember not being able to talk about not being pregnant.

    • Hi Miriam,

      Thank you! and thank you for sharing your experience. I guess we’re all different, and in a few years’ time, maybe it will be something else that I’ll remember as I look back at now…

      I hope you are well.

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  3. Wow! Congratulations that is such wonderful news! I remember a lot of “we guessed” when I told people I was pregnant, think I’d been looking a bit green for a while..xxx

    • Thanks Alice! I had a few people who had guessed too, probably because they’re close to me rather than looking green – apparently I looked better than I felt at the start! Not quite ‘glowing’ yet, but getting there.

      By the way, I enjoyed reading your poem this morning, you have such a beautiful way with words…

      • Oh thank you, that is lovely of you to say! I hope you are feeling well, am sure you are glowing! Oh by the way, have you heard of something called Omm writer? http://www.ommwriter.com/ Stephen was showing it to me the other day, I loved it. It creates a nice background to write on, kind of clears everything out, and it plays music that helps you concentrate. Only works on a Mac though…xxx

      • It sounds great! I don’t have a mac though 😦 My sister does, so will send the link to her as she may like it for songwriting – so thanks! x

  4. there are so many elements of your post that reflect my story. Believe me you are not alone Rachel.
    Best wishes for the rest of what is an amazing experience that will stay with you for many years, enjoy every day and don’t forget how important rest and sleep is 🙂

  5. Hi Toni,

    Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience – I’m glad to hear I’m not alone (I was sure I wouldn’t be the only one!). Thanks also for your wishes and advice, which I will definitely take on board – in fact, will be signing out shortly for a restful Sunday afternoon! 🙂

  6. Hi Sister-in-Law, I am so excited for you and my (big, little brother). Whilst I didn’t keep any of my three pregnancies a secret (apart from my first one, from my mum..lol), I did however not get them confirmed until about 6 weeks into the pregnancies. This therefore resulted in everyone not being told until about 10 plus weeks. Now that I look back, I wonder why I didn’t get them confirmed earlier. With my first pregnancy I did not feel sick, until I found out I was in fact pregnant (ironic), maybe that’s why I followed suit with the further two: if I don’t know then I won’t feel sick. Never the less all exciting times. Enjoy your pregnancy, the best is yet to come. xx

  7. I totally agree!! I found out around Halloween and wanted to tell people. We went to the Christmas lights switch on and I was about 10 weeks. I’d been wrapped up in my coat but had started to overheat – mainly because I seem to run on a completely different thermostat now! I couldn’t take my coat off and walk around in Early December with no coat having already told one of the girls from church for coming to the switch on without a jacket (admittedly she was about 14-16 weeks pregnant and was overheating too lol).

    We announced it on Christmas Day to the whole of church and it was funny how many people were excited for us – one friend who is like my second mum texted across church before the pastor had properly finished announcing it!

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